Guild of Stars
by Zarya Fangs
Summary: [Anti Mary Sue] He couldn’t help but fall for her. She was perfect after all. In just one day Riku Yutume had fallen for a Sue, told her to F off, and kissed Yuffie. What a great day. [Kelii]


_A/N (Zarya) One hell of a long note… but to get this story you MUST read!_

**Name:** Kelii  
**Special information:** scoot your chair away from the computer. Stand up. Stretch your arms. Now say "kiwi". Now say kiwi again, only replace the "w" with an "l". Good. Now repeat whenever you read the Sue's name  
**Powers:** None, really. Even for a Sue she's under developed. I think I got rid of her to fast.  
**Love interest:** Riku. Duh.  
**Hate interest:** ((snickers)) Poor Yuffie…  
**Personality:** Hard to tell.  
**Looks:** You'll find out soon enough. I'm too lazy to be bothered with telling you.

And that's all you really need to know about her. Yeah. Whatever.

**Warnings:** Obsessive cursing, slight sexual references and slight hazing (as you'll see at the very end). Oh, and poor Riku makes out with a Sue. ((grins))

Me an' Wolf Fangs have decided to do the impossible. Make a Mary-sue parody. W00t. Damn. This isn't as long of a A/N I though it'd be.

* * *

Swirling and dancing to non-existent music, she looked too beautiful to be real.

Of course, all of her kind does. They practically aren't real. Only in imagination and a person's heart do they truly exist.

They happen everywhere. You turn a corner, there is going to be one or more of them sitting there waiting to attack you and steal your heart. They make you fall in love with them, making you think that they are loyal, beautiful, trust worthy and would never do anything to hurt you. Some of them are extremely bitchy, but you manage to make you break past their hard exterior and have them love you for who you are. Others are amazing fighters. They live and breathe the sport, and they some how manage to beat you, even though you are the undefeated champion of your world. The rest vary in personality, but most are ditzy but still bash poor Kairi. Some are even a combination of the three.

No matter what, they're almost always bi-polar.

Riku tried to look away, he really did, but that girl had done some ridicules dance to make him become entranced by the way her body moved effortlessly, her perfect body that turned heads on the street but old ladies and middle-aged women still were extremely nice to her, the way her long blonde hair fell perfectly over her face and her large baby-blue eyes that were enough to drive anyone crazy…

Whoa. Riku. Stop. She's a Sue, remember?

The silver knight shook his head and continued on. Why should he give the perfect girl a second glance?

A smirk crossed his face as he remembered the name of his Anti-Sue alliance. The Guild of Stars. Who knew Yuffie was so good at naming things? He scoffed. Ha. Who knew he actually _listened_ to the annoying ninja?

"Hey there," said a sickly smooth voice.

Riku stopped and ran a hand through his hair. Damn Sues. Turning up everywhere and when you least expect it, too. He decided to move on. She wasn't worth his time. But when he turned another corner, there she was. He couldn't seem to get away from her.

"Where're you going?" she asked, her pink tongue sliding over her perfect white teeth. She shifted weight from one foot to the other and put a hand on her hip. If there were a definition of sexy in the dictionary, it'd have her picture next to it. Along with "See: Mary-Sue." Riku snickered at the thought, trying not to become distracted with her uber-short skirt.

The teen smirked and tried to stand up even straighter, so his five-foot-seven form would tower even taller over her. Intimidation was the best way to make them back off. "Away from here," he coolly said, brushing past her but taking extra precaution to not touch her. Some weird power they have that Leon told him of. If one feels their skin, soft as kitten fur, they become hooked, wanting to have her around at all time. He didn't really believe it, but didn't want to risk it.

"Can I come with you?" she asked, swaying her hips in another dance movement. Riku noticed she kept her distance from him. Weird. Most normal girls would be crawling all over him if he paid the least bit of attention. (Yuffie doesn't count. God knows she isn't normal. And, although he still hasn't given up his feelings for Kairi, or his friendship, she's got to much common sense for that kind of crap.)

The Sue began to spin around, moving her body in all these different ways. Riku felt his nose crinkled up in disgust, but couldn't stop watching her. Damn. He fell for her within one Microsoft word page, like most people think he'd do. Why must Sues be so cruel? Damn. She's got great legs.

What was he thinking? He blinked, trying to regain his focus. _Come on, Riku. You can do this. It's just a girl. Think of Kairi. Think of Kairi. Yes, Kairi…_ His thoughts focused on the Princess of Heart, he began the trek to the Guild's headquarters. Sora's mom thought it was just 'so adorable' for them to be fighting those girls she saw pop up everywhere after their big adventure. So she let the use her (and Sora's and his dad's) house as headquarters. It was funny, really. Especially when Sora's face became cheery-red when she lead everyone through the house for a tour and stopping at his room, which hadn't been cleaned in about two months. His stuff was everywhere. Riku and Yuffie started to crack up while Kairi tried to hide her laughter by turning it into a coughing fit.

He was nearly there, only two blocks away, when he saw the Sue again. She was still dancing (how had she gotten there, anyway?) and was doing a pretty damn good job at getting his attention.

Something weird happened then. Everything just… disappeared. They were the only two left. Riku… and the Sue. Everything else seemed obsolete, and the surrounding scenery seemed to disappear. The only light in the dark was the two small glowing orbs that appeared on her hands. He couldn't help but watch them. Really. He became so enthralled in how beautiful she was and how amazing she danced, her sandy-blonde hair swaying gently along her body in every way that drove him crazy.

He couldn't stand it anymore. He _had_ to hold her. She was just begging for him to go up to her and… and…. And do something, but he knew she wanted him. Riku reached out to touch her delicate, china doll face. Her blue eyes showed no emotion, but he didn't care. She was… _perfect_.

Riku reached out to touch her, to halt her dancing, to pull her in his arms, to kiss her soft pink lips and to make her his. He wanted to live the rest of his life with her, to be pampered like he knew she could. But as soon as his gloved hand got within three inches of her face…

She vanished.

No puff of smoke. No flash of brilliant light. The Sue just up and disappeared. She was… gone.

The world around him came back, as well as the sounds of people walking around him. Riku felt his face getting hot. He may have not seen them, but what if they saw him make a fool of himself with a _Sue_? Hurriedly the silver knight rushed off to Sora's house.

What would Yuffie say about this?

Why did he even _care_ what Yuffie thought?

-xox-

"Okay, so let me get this straight. _You,_ Riku Yutume, almost _kissed_ a _Sue_?"

Riku was having a harder time getting it then Sora.

He settled for glaring at his best friend.

"I bet he would'a liked it, too." Yuffie joined in, bouncing on the couch next to Sora. Riku sat across from them in an armchair. Kairi didn't come in yet.

"I wouldn't have a _choice_, Yuff." He said, adverting his glare from Sora to the young ninja. That was his number one rule. Blame everybody and anybody for your stupid mistake.

"Yeah, 'cause anyone can just go and fall in love with one of them willy-nilly." She rolled her eyes.

"Well, lots of people think so," Sora said, referring to the fan site dedicated to the 'Kingdom Bishies.' That site even _encourages_ them. It also bashes poor Kairi, makes Yuffie seem like a ditz and completely leaves out Aerith. No one on the island likes it.

Riku slowly nodded. He wasn't paying much attention any more. He knew _exactly_ what he would do to get her off his tail. He smirked. Sora would be envious.

"Where're you going?"

He looked up. The silver knight didn't even know that he had stood up and started walking to the exit.

"Out. I'm going to get that Sue." He said proudly, taking a few more steps.

"Can I help?" Yuffie asked. He slowly studied her out of the corner of his eye. He could tell it made her uncomfortable by the way she blushed and shifted her weight from foot to foot. Finally he shook his head.

"You'll only get in the way," and with that, Riku walked out the door.

-xox-

_If I were a Sue, where would I hide?_ He thought. He shook his head. Why would he have to look? She should come to him. Riku scoffed. _Any_ girl would come to him!

He slowly surveyed the area around him. He was in a park, thinking it was the perfect place to meet a girl. After all, those guys on those stupid chick-flicks Kairi watches do it. Why shouldn't it work for him?

"What's up?"

He smirked. Stupid, idiotic Sue. It's like that saying…. Wait; was there a saying for it? Something about baiting a mouse with cheese or something? No, wait. There was no saying. None at all. But he was still going to get her.

But before he could do anything, he blurted out, "What's your name?" Riku mentally kicked himself for saying that. She might think he was getting… 'friendly'.

"Kelii. It's like kiwi but pronounced with an 'L'." she said, sitting down on the bench beside him. She crossed her legs in one swift motion, pulling off an air of being lady-like. Her skirt rolled up and a bit. Kelii blushed and tugged it down. Riku had a sneaking suspicion that she wasn't embarrassed at all.

"So…" He frowned. Something wasn't right with this picture. But if there was a time to jump into action, it was now. "Do you want to go somewhere with me?"

The Sue looked startled. She blinked, her baby blue eyes not reflecting on inner emotion or thoughts. "Sure. Where?"

Her preppy voice was getting on his nerves.

Riku smirked. "Just come with me," he offered, standing up and striding away. He could feel the Sues presence behind him all the way.

-xox-

"A… a club?"

The silver knight felt his smirk widen at her astonishment. "Yes. A club." He replied. Okay, so it was only about seven thirty in the afternoon and only just starting to get dark, but he had to bring her here to make his plan work.

He turned his smirk into a smile and motioned for her to follow him. He still didn't want to touch her. Riku gently pushed open the revolving doors and stepped inside.

The music was already blaring, strobe lights flashing and there were even some people there. Not enough to make a big scene… but it would do. The Sue walked up behind him a raised a hand to place gently on his forearm, but Riku jerked away to save himself. Eww. She probably had sweaty palms.

"All right, so we're here." He said a bit too loudly. "I can't believe you wanted me to show you _here_, Kelii." (Riku had to refrain from filling her name with venom) "After all, this is a place full of guys, and is not for a girl who just moved here and doesn't know her way around!"

He was a really bad actor.

Apparently the Sue didn't think he was acting, because she said, "Riku, what are you talking about? I didn't want to come here! You did!"

The silver knight blinked. "Since when did you know my name…?" he started to say, but was pushed out of the way by two older boys. Smirking to himself, Riku made his way to the back of the building, where he knew was another exit. Yep, his plan was working perfectly, he thought as he glanced over his shoulder at the group gathering around 'Kelii'. He was lucky enough not to run into some of his fan club.

"Riku!"

Oh, great. The Sue was back; stumbling to him from some direction she could not have gotten to without breaking out of those boys. Her blonde hair streamed behind her and, for a second, was all Riku could see. Kelii didn't slow down in front of him but kept on running until she bumped into him, causing him to stumble back a few steps. A burning sensation passed through him for a second as him arms closed around her to catch her (Blame reflexes) but quickly passed.

He felt the impulse to throw her out of his arms, to make sure she wouldn't come after him again, but he didn't. Why would he hurt this poor girl? She's too precious…

Riku gently nuzzled her golden, hair, whispering her name. "Sorry, Kelii. I won't do that again…"

-xox-

Yuffie couldn't believe him. How could he do that? Why would he go back on his word? He hated Mary-Sues. He swore to _murder_ them. Murder! He said that he wouldn't care if he had blood on his hands, but he would take any down, even Gary-Stus! And she had never heard of Riku going back on his word.

The ninja kicked a small-ish rock around, bouncing it off buildings and benches. She imagined Riku's head in its place, with many cuts and bruises. Oooh, just wait until the others hear about this! He's so going to be kicked out. Really, kissing a Mary-fucking-Sue in public? Giving her a friggin' _hickey_?

Well, at least she had blackmail.

Brows furrowed, Yuffie gave the rock one final, and one very hard, kick and watched it fly all the way across the street. Stupid jerk. Doesn't he see she liked him?

"Oh, god!"

She glanced up in the direction of the voice. An evil grin crossed her face. "Did I almost hit you, Sora?" she asked sweetly.

"Yes!" He glanced from her to the tree behind him, which had a gash where the rock hit it. Before he could say something else, Yuffie marched across the street, grabbed his hand and started dragging him away.

"Come on," she said. "I need something to do, and you're going to get it! Prepare to die, kid."

"I am not a kid!"

She grinned. If anything she said sounded perverted, let him think that. But he's still not going to be happy when she drags him home…

-xox-

Okay, so he had to admit, suicide did cross his mind at one point.

But Riku didn't feel like giving up that easily.

As he stumbled back to the head quarters, Riku felt lower then dirt. After all, he just gave mouth-to-mouth to a Sue within the first few hours of meeting her! A long, cold shower was in order. Maybe he would drown in the shower stall. Yeah, that would certainly help with his Sue problem! But, then again, maybe she had some weird powers and could bring him back from the dead… He should just let her get bored with him. But what if she's one of those early commitment Sues?

Either way was a lose/lose situation.

Riku blushed a bit and straitened the collar of his shirt. After a bit of drinking on his part at the club (only one. Not enough to get him drunk) he and Kelii had gone to the ratty old couch along the wall of the building and started to do some things he would rather wait until he was in his twenties to do. Somehow he had regained his mind and made his escape with the excuse that he was going to throw up. The Sue probably was still standing outside of the bathroom, waiting for him. The thought brought his famous smirk to his face.

Most of the houses in the few streets he had to walk through were dark. Some couples he recognized from the club were going to one of them, while others didn't have the patience to wait until they got inside. Riku winced, hoping that they would at least go inside before the little kids came out. Okay, so what? He was concerned about the brats that would always pester him to join in a game of tag or something. There were some things in the worlds even his mother didn't want to admit existed. Like coed dorms at the local college.

When he got to the Guild's headquarters (he still snorted when he remembered the name), Riku was surprised to find that the lights were still on and he could hear a commotion coming form inside. Oh, shit. Riku didn't want to talk to anyone that night. Maybe he could sleep in so when they left to go to the picnic Kairi's mother insisted they have he could work out an excuse for not getting rid of the Sue.

Immediately after he opened the door he regretted it. The harsh lights were blinding compared to the dim club and the dark streets. Okay, so maybe he did have a little too much to drink. Riku took a few seconds to allow his eyes to get used to the startling difference in lights before going in.

And then he took a few more seconds to wonder why Yuffie was arguing with Sora's mother.

Riku didn't have to wonder for long, however. Almost as soon as he closed the door behind him Yuffie shouted, "Just because he has an earring now doesn't mean he's gay!"

Sora's mother replied with, "My baby doesn't need one to look cool! He's perfect the way he is."

The look Yuffie gave her, Riku knew, was reserved for crazy and overprotective mothers. Of course he never expected Yuffie to include Mrs. Oharu in that category. After all, wasn't she the woman she dubbed as the coolest mother alive?

Riku took a few steps to an over-stuffed chair and, before sinking into it, glanced over at the two sitting on the couch. Sora had his arms crossed and his trademark pout on while Kairi tried to comfort him. He couldn't really tell if she liked the supposed earring he had or not.

Glancing back and forth between Yuffie and Mrs. Oharu, Riku decided he liked the distraction. If only his legs began to get the feeling back in them so he could walk down the hall to his temporary bedroom…

"Sora has an earring?" he heard himself ask. Mentally Riku kicked himself. Yep, drunk. He was so drunk.

Yuffie's eyes sparkled, he saw, when she turned to him and began firing questions off at record speed. "Hi Riku! Did you get rid of her? I bet not. I saw you in the club thingy while I was looking for Cid. Lose your virginity yet?"—at this one Riku felt himself blush wildly although he hadn't—"You think you love her now, right? Want to see his earring? I made him get it because I was bored and needed to torture someone. C'mon, Sora! Let Riku see!" She had moved her self in front of Sora at this point and began tapping her foot, ignoring his mother's protests.

Riku smirked, "Yeah, Sora. Let's see it." He stood up on shaky legs and managed to walk over without stumbling and tripping over his feet too much, although only Kairi noticed. The boy blushed deeper and looked away.

"It's cool, though, Sora." Kairi said quietly. Sora looked over at her, seeming to ask her what she meant by that. Without a word he turned his head so Riku could see the left side of it and pulled back some of his brown hair.

Both Riku and Mrs. Oharu had to lean in closer to see. It was just a little black stud. Riku straitened and blinked. His mother was freaking out over that?

"Ohmigosh!" cried Mrs. Oharu. Everyone turned to look at her. "You didn't tell me it was _black_! Sora!" She gasped as if someone had just punched her in the stomach. "You're not becoming one of those gothic freaks now, are you?"

Sora looked up at her, normally warm blue eyes hard and cold and just stared at his mother. "Mom?" he said after a pause.

"Yes, sweetie?" apparently she thought he didn't take offence from the comment she just made. Riku knew for a fact that he had befriended some people who would be labeled, "Gothic" during his adventure. "If you want to take it out, I'm sure we have some pliers here somewhere. You know how much your father likes to tinker with machines."

Yuffie gave her an "Ohmigawd-you-idiot" look before saying, "If he wanted to take it out he would have. It's not that hard to remove an earring."

"How would you know?" Riku countered, although he agreed one hundred percent with the ninja. Wow. That's a first. "You're ears aren't pierced." Before she could answer him, Sora glared at both of them to be quiet. Riku's eyebrows went sky high. Since when could he do that?

"Mom," he started. "Shut up."

The look of shock on Mrs. Oharu's face was absolutely priceless. Although Riku likes her almost better then his own mother, he couldn't help but wish for a camera to capture the moments. Especially as Sora stood up and marched up the stairs to his room, evidently keeping the earring.

Mrs. Oharu looked to Yuffie, then to the stairs where Sora disappeared and back to Yuffie. Without a word she followed her son to the second floor.

"So," Yuffie started. She gave Riku a wicked grin. "Seriously—did you or did you not lose your virginity?" He gave her a look. How dense could a person get? She's just so ridicules sometimes. He arched an eyebrow and she smiled. Was this a game to her?

"Well," Kairi stood up and stretched. Riku had almost forgotten she was there. Wait, what? Since when did he, Riku, forget that his long-time crush was in the room? Sure, Yuffie's stupidity is distracting sometimes (or all the time), but that never mattered before! God, he was really drunk… "I'm going to bed," she continued, waving goodbye as she started down a hallway. Her room was completely across house from his.

And that was how he ended up, drunk, in the same room as a nosy ninja and lying to everyone about his Mary-Sue problem.

"You're an idiot, Yuff." He said softly. "I got rid of her."

"Really?" Yuffie put her hands on her hips, a mischievous smile dancing on her lips. "Then why'd you bring her to Gray's place?" Riku just looked at her. What the heck was "Gray's place"?

"I have proof," she continued. "There were multiple witnesses and—"

"What the hell Yuffie!" Riku interrupted. "You're acting like I'm on death row or something." His head _hurt_, and he really needed a nice, long, ten-hour nap.

"I'm talkin' about you and the Sue at the club, idiot"

Oh. Shit. She saw him?

"What?" _Yes, that's it, Riku. Play dumb. Pretend it never, ever happened…_

Yuffie squinted. "Something…" She paused for a second, and Riku couldn't help but be afraid. He didn't know why, but he really felt like he was in big trouble. "You smell like beer," she declared.

That was it? Now that wasn't so—

Wait. Yuffie, the annoying little girl who happens to be older then him, smelt that _one_ drink on his breath?

That can't be good.

"Yeah, well…" Riku trailed off. He felt like he was getting the third degree from his parents or something. And what's worse is that was _Yuffie_. "I… uh..."

"Shut up." Yuffie looked like a kid in a candy store. "You need rest. Go to bed and I'll work up an excuse for you not to go with us tomorrow to the picnic." Riku let out a sigh of relief. Ya know, Yuffie wasn't so bad… "And then we'll work out the rest of this agreement." He stiffened. Riku should've seen that coming. Well, at least he would be saved some humiliation, but who knew what kind of test the young ninja would put him through?

"Fine." He said stiffly. "Tomorrow."

He walked away feeling worse then he had when he came in the door.

-xox-

Riku ran a gloved hand through his hair. The house was strangely quiet, but what could he expect? Yuffie wasn't home. She had, supposedly, told them some excuse to get out of going to the picnic. He could only wonder what it was…

The television was too loud and bright for him, his music (which he found scattered in random places around the house) was too loud and blaring and even the friggin' lights were too bright for his head. Riku swore, then and there, never to drink again. Ever. Except maybe on weddings…

At least his headache wasn't as bad as it was last night. He actually couldn't sleep for half the night and, when he did fall asleep, couldn't sleep well for tossing and turning. And _then_ he slept until past noon. Riku really hated himself for that—he was always an early riser. Well, at least it kept him from getting questioned.

The door squeaked open. Riku really felt as if they should have oiled it when they had a chance. Of course, it was probably the Sue coming to find (and make-out with) him, but Riku didn't think about that. It was the damn door! But, if it was the Sue, that must have meant she either mugged someone to get the key… or slept with the guy at a hardware store…

"I saw her."

"What?" Riku said groggily. It wasn't Kelii. Worse. Yuffie.

"She's at the park." Yuffie rested her arms on the back of the seat, leaning on them and pitching foreword a bit.

"Kelii?"

"Is'zat her name?"

Riku looked at her from the corner of his blood-shot eyes. "No. It's the name of the gum on the sidewalk." Yuffie rolled her eyes.

"She's too damn beautiful. You should've seen all those guys going ga-ga over her!"

He tensed up. Yuffie was raising her voice to emphasize her point, and it did nothing for his headache. "Quiet," he hissed. She mumbled an apology.

Riku turned back around and put his face in his hands. "I don't like beautiful things."

Instead of the normal, "Why?" he expected from her, Yuffie said, "Does that mean you like ugly things?" But the strange part about it is that she held no sarcasm in her voice.

"They're… more interesting," he said lamely. Let Yuffie think he's a loser! What did he care, anyway? He already was in love with one of the lowest form of beauty there is. Stupid Sues.

"Then why do you hate me?"

Riku's head snapped up. It felt as if the eight bottles of aspirin he had suddenly took affect. His first impulse was to say, "You're not ugly, Yuff." But that wouldn't look good. She could take it two ways. The first is that she'd think he hated her more then Kelii and the other was that he actually liked her. So instead he changed the subject. "What did you tell them? My excuse, I mean."

"That you were sick. Well… maybe it was that you were throwing up or something… I can't really remember." Yuffie had a dumb smile on when he turned around to look at her. Damn ninjas. Almost as bad as the Sues.

"I'm going out." Riku said, standing up. Yuffie didn't make a move to stop him.

-xox-

Although his head was still pounding, Riku never felt better in his life.

Okay, that was lie. He felt better when he was a naive little boy. And he'd feel better as soon as he dumped the damn Sue in the ocean.

Next to the only park on his island was a small bunch of trees. The islanders called this a "forest". Riku called it a bunch of trees. He figured that if he sat there long enough Kelii would sense him and come running to him. There he wouldn't be seen by the people who thought he was sick, and if the Sue was unstable and spontaneously exploded (Riku snickered at the thought) no one would be around to get injured.

Besides, the trees shaded the goddamn bright sun.

Riku closed his eyes and sighed, leaning his back against the tree truck behind him. He crossed his arms and sighed again. Waiting is so annoying. Wait, did he just sound like Yuffie?

Why was everything reminding him of her?

Riku opened one eye lazily and glanced to his right. A small moment turned out to be a squirrel with an acorn. He closed his eyes again, enjoying the breeze that would always blow in from the sea. That's what he enjoyed about living on an island—it always had a cool breeze.

"Riku," cooed a voice from his left. He opened up the other eye this time and nodded in acknowledgement to the Sue. So much for cold-and-distanced. Leon is _such_ a good role model.

"Listen, Kelii," Riku opened both eyes and pushed off the tree so he was only a few feet from the blonde bitch. BB for short. "Could you do me a favor?" He nearly killed himself for being so formal. But the half of him that didn't want to slit her throat just wanted to hold her, and he was beyond that. Besides, his friends would never let him live it down if he started going out with a Sue, maybe even marrying her at his age. The thought of marriage alone was enough to make him gag.

The blonde blinked, "Sure." Her preppy, high-pitched voice made him wince. Riku toyed with the idea of just telling her to shut up, but he figured she'd take that as he did have a head ache and needed her 'help' and would yell at him for pushing her away and then he would feel guilty and—

No, no. BAD Riku. Stop! Bad Riku!

Tugging on a strand of silver hair—a nervous reaction—Riku couldn't figure out how he was going to do this. It would break her heart… but why would he care?

"I need you to go away. And I mean forever."

The tone of his voice shook the part of him that 'loved' her out of hiding. He could see it now. The out of character him would rush up to her, crying all the time that he didn't mean it and that he was sorry, and could she ever forgive him? But it seemed as if Badass Riku won the fight, beating the Lovey-Dovey Riku with a stick. He could hear the cheering.

"What… what do you mean, Riku?" the Sue whined. Oh, shit. The stick would be put to better use being shoved down her throat.

Riku raised an eyebrow, "Simple. Fuck off."

The look on Kelii's face was priceless. Wonderfully so. The only regret he had was not having a camera to capture the perfect moment. Her sky-blue eyes flushed with tears, her face becoming red and blotchy but stayed beautiful, and her hair seemed to frizz up, but just by a tiny bit. Her loud sobs could probably be heard across the island.

His hands in his pockets and a satisfied smirk on his lips Riku turned to leave. And she didn't stop him.

He felt immensely better. So much better he could go and dance. So much better he could shout out loud to no one in particular. So much better he could even _dare_ to go out and finish the picnic with his friends. After all, he was a little bit hungry…

But one moment in the bright-as-crap sun brought him to his senses. Just last night, He, Riku Yutume, had a beer. The first beer of his life. And he had a frikkin' _hangover_.

Shielding his eyes with his hand, Riku ducked back to the trees. Stupid, stupid, stupid…

Kelii stopped crying then. He could tell. For one, Riku couldn't hear her. Second, some animals had started to come back into the trees. The silver knight took a deep, shaky breath, steeling himself for anything.

A twig snapped. "What are you—"

Before the Sue could complete her sentence, before she could yell at him, before he could even open his friggin' eyes long enough to get a good look at her, Riku pinned her to a tree with every intention to commit first-degree murder right then and there. He didn't think the islanders would really care.

Aquamarine eyes widened. Oh, crap. Not her, please, dear god, not her…

"What are you _doing_?" Yuffie demanded between clenched teeth. She was, obviously, annoyed with his antics. Riku took note that his hands had pushed her shoulders back against the tree and didn't think I would be very wise to let go of her. Angry ninjas were very hard to control. "I heard a girl crying—it was her, wasn't it? And I thought that she hurt you or something, so I came back and then you push me into a tree and—"

"_Fuck_," his voice was harsh as it cut her off. Indigo eyes wide, Yuffie looked up at him in surprise.

Then he kissed her.

Riku leaned down and friggin' _kissed_ her. He couldn't believe him. Why the hell would he do something like that? Really! Yuffie was the person he'd expect for his body to kiss or his own accord. She was even behind the goddamn Sue!

His mind shut down as he deepened the kiss. Thinking could wait. Riku put a hand on her cheek, rubbing his thumb gently across her face. _So soft…_

"_Riku!"_

Wow. So much drama.

Riku broke away, trying not to look at Yuffie's face, which he was sure to be red from anger. The silver knight turned his head to glare at the Sue.

"What do you want, Kelii?" he hissed through clenched teeth. Damn. Now he had two girls at him. Oh well. It's not like he cared about either of them, right?

The blonde took a step forward, her crystal blue eyes shining with tears. "I—I can't believe you." she said. Some tears fell down her face. Riku found him self scooting ever so closer to Yuffie. He didn't know why, but he felt—ah. Yes. That was perfect. _Yuffie…_ "You said you loved me!" The Sue was shouting now, not caring if she was full-blown crying.

Riku blinked. "I never said that." It was true. In every single conversation he had with Kelii, he did not say he loved her, even if he relatively liked her. Maybe that she was pretty, but that was mostly it. He was to busy jamming his tongue into her mouth to use it much. It just goes to show you how they manipulate your mind and such.

"B-but," Kelii's expression changed from one of rejection to one of unmentionable anger. "I can't believe you!" she shouted. "After all we've been through… And then you go cheat on me with this stupid whore!"

She might have been expecting Riku to grovel at her feet, begging for forgiveness, saying that the 'evil whore' had cast a special 'ninja spell' on him and _made_ him fall for her, made him kiss her, etc. But, oh no, Riku wasn't going to give her the satisfaction.

"I _told_ you to fuck off, Kelii." He said slowly, so even the small-minded Mary-sue could understand him. "I don't even _like_ you. I'm in love with Yuffie."

That seemed to snap the ninja out of her state of shock. "Hey," she said fairly loudly although Riku was right next her. "What do you mean—"

He nudged her in the ribs. "Play along," he hissed through clenched teeth. Her mouth formed an "o" shape and she quieted.

"But _how_ could you love_ her_?" If the Sue was hysterical before, no one in the world had a word that could disrobe her now. "She's… she's… she's ugly!"

"Hey, watch who you're callin' ugly you bitch—" Once again Yuffie was cut off by an elbow to the ribs.

"I happen to _like_ 'ugly' girls, Kelii." Riku replied, taking a risk to raise one hand and make finger quotations around "ugly". Thankfully Yuffie didn't move. "You, on the other hand," he took a dramatic pause. Stupid drama class. "Are not ugly. You're fucking _homely_."

Turning on her 'small heeled' high heels, the Sue marched off into the group of trees, hopefully to never be seen again.

Riku smiled—an actually smile, not a smirk—and turned to Yuffie, who was still pinned to the tree. "Well, Yuff, I guess you aren't—"

"Get the hell off me!" The young ninja shoved him away roughly. He stumbled back, a little bit shocked. And the yelling did nothing for his head, either. Yuffie stomped away from him, anger radiating off her very form.

"You know—" Riku had started to say but cut himself off. How stupid would it seem if he told Yuffie Kisaragi, the girl he desperately hates, that she looked cute when she was angry?

Thankfully the ninja didn't hear him, but continued out of the trees until he couldn't see her anymore. Riku smirked. In a course of under an hour he had pissed of two girl his live would be better without. The Sue was damn annoying and was just too perfect to actually love, and Yuffie… Yuffie was Yuffie. After all, he didn't care about her.

Right?

-xox-

"…And word is that today, just a little over an hour ago, the body of a girl was found in the small forest on out island. The way the attractive young lady was killed suggests suicide, but it could have been murder. The police urges you to stay calm. After all, it is most likely the poor girl took her live because… because…"

Riku rolled his eyes as the newscaster trailed off, sniffling loudly. Even in death Kelii was a pretty popular girl. He only wished she had found some old guy, married him, waited until he died (i.e. killed him), took his money and married an equally stupid but beautiful guy and made beautiful babies together. The silver knight turned off the TV with the remote.

Yuffie still hadn't spoken to him since yesterday. In fact, Riku had hardly seen her at all. Fine by him. Peace and quiet was always nice in the Guild of Stars.

-xox-

"So it seems my poor little Kelii failed…"

The face on the large screen flicker off for a second before coming into focus. In the blue glow, about five people were seen sitting around a table that faced the screen.

One of the girls stood up, the blue reflecting off her raven hair. "Ma'am," she said, hardship shining through her voice. "Kelii was stupid. Wasn't she one of you first creations? Didn't we send her to Destiny Islands to warn them off our coming?"

The person rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "True," she said. "but it's also true that MY Riku admitted to being in love with the biggest slut of all time!"

A different girl stood up. Her unnaturally bright lavender hair could have brightened the dark side of the moon. "Please, mistress, may I go next?"

Another girl stood up. "No! It should be me! I mean, just look at me!" She motioned to her body, with long, perfect legs and a smooth stomach. "I'll have both Riku and Sora running after me in no time, forgetting about those whores! And then I'll lead them to this place, like you planned, and—"

"Shh, child," the face said. "The rebel is in this room."

Immediately all five pairs of eyes traveled to the back of the room. She smirked, silver eyes crinkling.

"Please, master," she cooed sweetly to the monitor. "I won't do anything wrong again, I promise. I learned my place, I know who I am and what my mission is, and all I want to do is help." She sounded convincing to her own ears. But the 'master' didn't buy it.

"If you are loyal," she said thoughtfully. "then you must re-train, and no breaks, outburst or **anything**," The face hissed out the last word.

The girl flinched. "No," she pleaded. "I'll be good! I don't need re-training! I was the top of my class! I even beat Lena!" at this she pointed to the first girl who stood up, the one with black hair.

"I told you," Lena hissed. "I was having a bad day. I nearly broke my leg in the seduction class!"

"Children, children," her voice was like that a baby-sitter would use to calm an angry child, even though the creator was a few years younger then them. "There's no use to fight. Sophi, you shall be on the shortened training and Lena, I want you to prepare for the next girl to go down to Destiny Islands."

All about business, Lena straightened. "Who am I sending, ma'am?"

"I'll tell you when I decide." And with that the blue screen went blank, sending the room into utter darkness. Well, besides the glow coming from the girl's purple hair.

Sophi flipped some of her super-long hair over her shoulder. "I can still kick your ass," she hissed to Lena as the older girl passed her. "Even if I was dropped out."

"No, dear," Lena let out a dry laugh. "I'm afraid you lost your touch when you went to find out what we really are. You can't believe their lies, now, can you?"

The group of five laughed heartily as they passed Sophi, one by one, and finally closed the door behind them. She sunk down against the wall, careful that her hated mini skirt wouldn't roll up. The door wasn't locked. But, if it was, she could open it. She wasn't the master's best creation for nothing.

But sometimes the created could out smart the creator. Unfortunately, Sophi was too weak to take on her army of whores by herself.

"But we're not supposed to be like this…"

* * *

**Zarya:** Sophi ish my little baby. She'll be appearing in chapter five or seven, and Lena will be in the chapter I have almost immediately after that. ((grins)) See, I have odd (again) and Wolfie has even. Again. Yep.

In case you didn't get it, it's DEFINATLY a Yuriku and a Sokairi. I have no idea what Wolfie is doing for the next chapter, but I'll bet it's good!

The kind of Sues that'll be on her are normal Sues, like Kelii, fighter sues, like Lena, rebelling Sues, like Sophi and other, like mistake Sues, girls who are LIKE Mary-sues but really aren't. I haven't run that idea by Wolfie yet but I seriously don't think she'll mind.

Sorry if the cuss words offended you. It's needed for the story!


End file.
